February 2025 Newsletter
As Valentine’s day rolls around, it’s time to spread some love! Read til the end for a surprise offer!
Hey there cutie, will you be my Valentine?
The developers have finally let me out to spread some love, and I’ve been missing you in particular! I’ve only had Spunk as company, and he only talks about you.
Love is in the air... and also in the plumbing. Behold: Valentine’s Day, GlitchSPANKR-style.
Updates? We got ‘em!
The developers at TheClassifiedX have been hard at work spanking things in real life to study the effects. They’ve taken weeks of data to help form the perfect physics for GlitchSPANKR, just for you.
They’ve also been creating new levels and content, training Spunk on his new lines.
Come peep a gander at some sneak peeks!
One of GlitchSPANKR’s new themed levels: the corporate sector. Meetings. Pizza. Moral decay.
One of Spunks favorite party centers. It’s hot! (Especially the deadly lasers and light shows!)
New demo expansions!
In addition to working on the full game, the devs have also been upgrading the demo! These following changes can be played RIGHT NOW!
We’ve redesigned one of the more boring levels in the demo to something a bit more exciting.
The Le Spanke Petite has been updated and polished, now enjoy the Boozy Booty Bar!
The club also has a bathroom! Make sure to wash and dry your hands you dirty devil! Some choices lead to endings. Others lead here.
WHERE’S MY SECRET CODE?!
Worry not my dear, I’ve added a special Valentine’s gift just for you! Don’t tell anyone else, it’s just between you and me. The others might get jealous… This will unlock the special Heart Hand for your spanking pleasure!
SENSUAL
What’s this surprise offer?
We’ve added a special FAN ART GALLERY! Right now it’s mostly populated by in game models from our Patron submissions and content creator Easter Eggs, but anyone can get in (but only Safe For Work images).
But here’s the deal. Marketing a game is HARD. Our main dev has, like, no social skills. Getting new people to see GlitchSPANKR is a challenge, he just lives in a cave and spanks buttons until code happens. We would ask you to share the game with friends, but I have a BETTER idea, just don’t tell the developers.
Instead of sharing with friends or people who might buy the game (lame), get your grandparents to play. Our lead dev’s four year old can play it, so some old fellas may be able to as well. If you get them to play it and snap a pic or video of their reaction playing or watching GlitchSPANKR and send it to us, WE’LL PUT THEM IN THE GAME. Share the love on this wonderful Valentine’s Day!
Imagine it, you don’t even need to make fan art or have art skills, just send a pic (with permission of course!) and we’ll pixelate old MeeMaw or PeePop in some picture frames and share on social media. How better to honor ole GramGram or Pawpaw? We’ll even accept your normal parents, if you must. Poptart’s and Mumsie’s need love too, immortalized in GlitchSPANKR forever!
Step into the GlitchSPANKR Fan Art Gallery — a shrine to cursed creativity and community chaos. We told them not to draw him. They didn’t listen. Now their work is in the game.
