Spunk looks excited. “F—friends? With ME? On a social platform where others can see? Let’s go!”

Spunk takes you through a confusing series of flashing lights and sounds. It almost sounds like a dial up modem to you. The lights and noise suddenly stop, and you take a look around to find…

A social media page for Spunk on MyFace. You can tell he’s posted tons of status updates, maybe 50 or more a day for years. You look through his pictures to see heaps of awkward selfies, he’s normally out of focus. You notice his friend count is -4 somehow.

Spunk - “Well this is my MyFace page! I don’t think I normally get many page visits. The ones that do normally leave nasty comments. Sometimes they call me stinky, sometimes worse things. Usually worse things, actually.”

“Well, now that we’re here, do you want to add me as a friend?” Spunk looks at you intensely, longingly, patiently.

You:
-Add him as a friend
-Tell him no.